This is an interesting perspective on encyclopedias from the perspective of the description of lightning and thunder. It contains a range of worthwhile material, and it should be published in HGSS. 

I have two principal points to make about it. Firstly, the motivation for the work is not clearly enough provided at the outset. For example, the material at L38-41 could be given in the opening sentences of section 1. Secondly, the structure of the article needs to be outlined early on, probably in section 1. 

Currently, the sections are chronological, which is fine. But a guide to what is coming - perhaps even a simple table - would help the reader further.

Abstract

L9 (and L12) "wrong" implies hindsight evaluation - better avoided. Just acknowledge that the medieval view was different to the modern view, and perhaps where it originated.

L16 Are all details of physical phenomena ever completely understood? It seems unfair to thunderstorm scientist to single them out.

End of Sect 1. Please add a few lines explaining the structure of the paper and how the subsequent sections are organised.

L60 Just point out that, at the time, they considered thunder to precede lightning. (The early authors would have had their own reasons, and it is only erroneous by modern investigations).

L95 Only some observations of ball lightning describe its ability to move through walls, so give a reference for this. A useful authoratative reference is Pippard 1982 https://www.nature.com/articles/298702b0

L268 Electricity was described in the terms of the time: a modern judgement on its validity, requiring ions and electrons, is inappropriate here.

L277 Chree was superintendent of Kew Observatory (see MacDonald, 2018) and therefore a knowledgeable establishment figure. As was Abbe. Having such contributors may have caused a transformative step in quality.

L300-309. This seems to be a footnote, or possibly, an endnote. Please be clear about how it links to the other material.

L310. This needs to be identified as a separate section, for Online Encyclopedias. There is a point to be made about distributed authorship, in comparison with the authorships of the earlier material. Distributed authorship brings other issues - sometimes Wikipedia articles are poor and dominated by the erroneous views of one or a few non-expert individuals.

Minor points

L23 Encyclopedia

L31 angel

L152 Worth mentioning...

L216 speed (not distance)

L237 ...of environmental physics

L347 Boys (The originator's name was Charles Vernon Boys).

General ratings:

1)  YES

2) YES; for suggested improvements see attached file

3) YES

4) YES

5) YES

6) YES

7) In general YES; improvements are suggested for first and final sections, and a split of section 5 into two seperate ones

8) In general YES; the usual technical editing and minor language polishing should be applied

9 NO